Do you ever have a day, week or month, year. (or lets be honest, lifetime) Where you just wish there was a reset button? An easy start over button? Whether it is starting over with the knowledge you have. Or just starting over with the health you had at some point in your life. With the health that others seem to have that you don’t. Wish there was a quick cure?
Wouldn’t it be nice to find the miracle cure that takes away the pain. The discomfort, the irritation, the bad days, the stress of it all. I had a dream the other night of swimming in a giant, gorgeous pool filled with water the consistency of paint. I came up for air and everything felt amazing. There was no pain, no discomfort, no sneezing, no stress, no weird symptoms. Nothing. Everything felt fine, I had energy, I felt relaxed and happy. I haven’t felt this way in years, since the year I started University. This is a large part of my depression and why I choose to sleep more than I should some days. Because then nothing hurts and I am not disappointing anyone or feeling crappy.
This is the hard truth we face everyday.
That there is no reset button, there is no I learned my lesson lets start over button. There is no pill the doctors can prescribe, no yoga or exercise or meditation or self help book that will take this pain away forever. Or even quickly. Getting healthy is a journey, and sometimes it is something that some will never accomplish and that is heart breaking.
I feel thankful that my health is something that I can improve and work on. Something that with time and persistence will get better and I feel terrible for those who will never know that feeling. That have been born into stress and bad health and feel this way every day. They truly are the fighters and I respect them.
The majority of my health issues stem from stress, whether stress was what moved me to over eat in an unhealthy way. What drives me towards sugar, towards unhealthy coping methods. Stress is the one thing I have to fight the hardest, and is the hardest thing to fight. I can (learn to) meditate, I can take up yoga, cut out sugar the best I can. But the stress will still always be there, so it is a constant battle, two steps forward, three steps back. Stressful jobs, family and friends, obligations, health etc etc etc. So although some day with all these “cures for stress” I will get healthy and feel better. Feel stronger, feel relaxed, there is always a possibility of slipping back into this feeling, into being sick.
There is no quick cure for stress
There is no quick cure for any illness. Now there is only persistence and motivation, fighting everyday. That is what started this blog and motivates me to write every week. To remind myself that I am in fact getting better, to be accountable to others (even if they are faceless on the internet) to think positive. To show everything I have done to get where I am going and hope that it helps others get there too.
There will be posts about gardening for positive thinking. For getting into the swing of yoga through the yoga rage, about learning to meditate and if and how it helps, all the different forms of self care from the pampering to the getting healthier responsibility of self care. How to get past the skepticism and judgement, to slowly but surely get better. Because if my dream showed me anything it was that feeling that way is possible, even if it isn’t as quick as hitting the reset button.